Tips on Overcoming Self-Defeating Behaviors

Self-defeating behaviors are those activities and habits that keep us from accomplishing our desired goals.

We may not recognize that we have self-defeating behaviors. Consequently, we must take some time to objectively assess how we behave, think, and act.

We initially became entangled in self-defeating behaviors because we found the behavior a way to cope with an unpleasant situation. For example, a young child lies when caught in an uncompromising position. If the parent doesn't catch and lets the child get away with it, the behavior becomes imprinted in the child's behavior pattern.

As the child approaches adulthood, and there has been no attempt to get rid of the behavior, it becomes ingrained in the person's behavior pattern. Obviously, the tendency to lie out of tough situations will sooner or later be recognized by others, including spouse or employer. Thus, it becomes a self-defeating behavior.

We, and others, may look at some of our habits and thought patterns as merely quirky behavior. But some habits will be so pronounced as to block any success we hope to have.

Here are some tips for overcoming these self-defeating behaviors:

1. Recognize that we have certain self-defeating behaviors.

This may not be easy to do, since we look through a glass darkly when it comes to ourselves. We have had certain habits for many years, and they've become part of our behavioral lives.

Suggestion: Ask someone you trust--maybe a spouse, parent, friend, or coworker--to tell you what he or she see in your behavior that will be a hindrance in accomplishing your goals. This is tough to do. And you need to make sure that the person is someone who you can trust. Plus, you need to make sure that you will not become offended by what they say. And be prepared to do something about it. Otherwise, it's a dangerous activity.

2. Once you recognize that you have a self-defeating behavior, think of another behavior to replace it with--a positive behavior.

An example: Say that whenever you are criticized at work for something you did, did wrong, or didn't do, you instinctively blame others for what happened. Definitely a self-defeating behavior! What can you replace it with? The next time you are criticized, you decide to listen carefully, and if the criticism is valid, you ask the person what you can do to improve your performance.

Now that's not easy to do. But if you visualize yourself substituting the more positive behavior, you have a good chance of actually making the behavioral change.

3. Set a goal for conquering the self-defeating behavior. Write down you goal. Review it frequently.

4. Monitor how you are doing in achieving the goal of eliminating your self-defeating behaviors.

For example, you set a goal to exhibit a more positive reaction to someone's criticism. You then monitor how well you do the next someone gives you constructive criticism. If you don't react positively, begin the process over of reinforcing the desire to substitute a more positive behavior, set a new goal (such as "The next time I'm criticized, I will listen and ask for ideas on how I can do better."), and monitor how I do.

Since we all come into adulthood with self-defeating behaviors that will hinder our progress, determining to recognize and overcome these behaviors will lead to a more fulfilling life.

Working for the Video Gaming Industry

Young people are totally hooked to gadgetry and the seemingly endless virtual possibilities nowadays. Due to the advancement of modern technology, countless of modern gadgets and services are now created to cater to the needs of this new breed of people. One of the most exciting developments, especially in the field of animation, virtual entertainment and online gaming is the creation and the continued popularity of video games.

Video game, also known as a computer game, is actually a game composed of a computer-controlled virtual universe. Being a computer game where a video display is used as the primary feedback device, video games enable players to interact with each other to achieve a goal or set of goals.

Because of the popularity of online gaming, more and more people, especially teenagers are getting hooked into this online craze. With the growing demand for more interactive, bold, challenging and entertaining video games and programs, a growing demand for excellent and innovative video game jobs have emerged.

For those who became addicted in playing video games, it is only natural if they have developed an ambition to work in the video gaming industry. But, what does it take to delve into the video gaming workplace?

Whether you would want to work under a Playstation, XBox, or Nintendo platform, there are some basic things you should know. These include:

What is the video game industry and the extent of the business. Being a big fan of video games is not enough for you decide if you really want to push through a career in video gaming. You need to know and be updated on the latest news about the field.

It is actually a multi-billion dollar industry that was able to outsmart and outgrow many other industries in just a short span of time. This means that being in the industry as a video game worker can be a lucrative career because it opens a lot of opportunities.

Since it is a big industry, it is also a competitive environment, so it is a must that you familiarize yourself with the latest trends and updates. Employers will expect you to produce more innovative and brilliant work that would appeal to the younger generations. This industry can be complicated and you must be prepared to meet the challenging demands of times.

You also need a high stress tolerance level. Deadlines can be frustrating especially when it’s near. So if you are faint-hearted and can be stressed out easily then you better prepare yourself for the worst environment you can be in. All in all, you will get rewarded if you are willing to put in the effort and tenacity the video gaming industry demands.

Self-Employment: Smart Option or Income Trap?

Why do hundreds of people chuck in their job every day to journey down the road to become self-employed?

In the vast majority of cases, it's to escape the income trap a normal worker-boss relationship perpetuates - i.e. if you stay a "worker" then you stay in this one-to-one relationship that exists between worker and boss, where you exchange your skills and effort in return for a fixed wage every week.

The only way you can get money is to come back and do the same things all over again next week... or maybe do a little more work to get a little more pay.

This linear relationship - you work, and then get paid - fixes your income. It commits you to a life of "more of the same" week in and week out, and never really provides the extra needed to escape this cycle.

Now since the "boss" appears to be the winner here, the theory is that becoming your own boss is the first step on the road to wealth.

But is it really?

When you think of someone who is self-employed, whom do you think of?

Do you think of tradespeople like a plumber or mechanic? Perhaps you think of a shop-keeper or take-away shop owner?

Have these self-employed people escaped the linear income trap and put themselves on the road to wealth?

No! They are still earning a linear income, because they only make money once from each person they sell or provide a service to.

While they can maybe earn more than they could as a worker, it does come with the added costs of working longer hours, extra responsibility, and financial liability. And their income potential is still limited because they can only work for a fixed number of hours.

When seeking out self-employment opportunities, avoid those that revolve around linear income where you repeatedly do the same tasks in order to earn an income.

Instead, locate those opportunities that allow you to build residual (or passive) income.

While these do take some effort to set up initially, only a little maintenance is needed once underway to keep the income flowing in.

And what are you doing while it's earning money?

If you are smart, you are looking to find and build another opportunity to generate recurring, long-term income for you, while you sleep, when you are on holiday, or even after you've retired!

Whatever you do as a self employed person, you will have to work hard at it to make it work.

But think smarter as well...

Chase passive, residual income, and wealth is a lot easier to build.

The First Step Toward Living Debt Free

All of us incur debts from time to time. It is normal to purchase items on account and pay for them at a later date. The point where we run into trouble is when we overextend ourselves and owe our creditors more than we can repay. This article will explain to you how to set up a budget so you can meet your credit repayment obligations and move on to a debt free life.

Do You Have A Positive Or Negative Cash Flow?

The definition of a break-even point is when the amount of money you are paid every month covers your expenses exactly. The two numbers would be equal in this case. When you end up with more money than you have in expenses, you have a positive cash flow for that month. Otherwise, you have a negative cash flow, and you may be borrowing money to make up the difference.

You probably have a good idea of your salary, or take home pay every month. You need to add up the total of your credit obligations and compare it to your salary. Hopefully, you are bringing home more money than you have outstanding in credit card debt. If this is not your situation, you need to get professional help from a debt counselor immediately.

If you have a negative cash flow, you may also be headed for trouble financially. You should seek the advice of a personal money manager before you borrow yourself into deep debt.

For the purposes of this article, we will focus on the scenario of a positive cash flow. By making a budget you will be able to find money to start paying off your current debt. Everyone should have a budget in place. It makes your financial picture clearer to you. Then you can decide how to best allocate your money to reduce your debts.

Making Your Budget

The process of making a budget for your family is really not too hard. First, you list your revenue (your salaries, wages or any other income), and then you list your monthly expenses. You must include everything. This means groceries, gasoline, car insurance, mortgage or rent, and every other normal expense you have every month.

Then subtract your expenses from your monthly income. The balance is an amount of money that you have available to use to pay off your creditors. Although you could try to pay off your creditors with this full amount every month, you may find that you end up in a cycle of paying this amount until an emergency arises. Then you would probably borrow again to make ends meet. This would defeat your purpose.

Now you need to decide how you are going to use this money to pay off your bills every month. It is best to deposit a certain percentage in a savings account every month (for emergencies). If you do not have a "safety net" of money in reserve, it is too easy to borrow from high interest credit sources to meet your needs.

With the money you have left over after depositing a percentage every month in your savings account, you can start paying down your debts. You want to focus on repaying the bills that carry the highest interest penalty. This is usually your credit card bill. Make a plan that will pay the most money to your credit card company and still keep you current with your other creditors. This is a simple and easy to follow formula that will help you pay off your creditors faster and build a reserve fund should you need it.

You will find that money management can be fun. It's exciting to see your debts dwindle and watch your savings grow. All this takes is a good plan, and the will power to see it through.